Worship Leader Complex

Worship leader complex is a serious disorder suffered by 98% of worship leaders (at least in Baptist Churches). Before explaining the complex itself, I will first define “worship leader.” Notably, this is a bad term, as worship is more than singing songs. A better title would be “song leader.” But for purposes of this blog, I will define worship leader as either the guy wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, Puma’s or chuck’s, nicely sculpted hair playing a guitar or the old guy in a choir robe with large glasses waving his hands as if he actually knew how to direct a choir.

Worship Leader Complex is a disorder that causes worship leaders to preach a mini-sermon between songs. Those with worship leader complex are not content with simply doing their job (i.e. leading songs), but also feel the need to preach.

Anyone who has been to a Baptist church where the average age is below 70 (which, I admit, rules out a large number of churches) knows what I am referring too. After singing “Mighty to Save” for the hundredth week in a row, the worship leader reads a passage of scripture and then expounds on it before going into a chant of Kumbaya. Or perhaps he will attempt to explain a verse of the previous song. It should be noted that though this expounding takes at least 5 minutes (in which the audience must of course be standing), the worship leader actually shares nothing that is not said in the scripture itself.

Here is an example of what a worship leader might say (Biblical passages are in italics). “In the beginning was the Word…the Word, it was present, in the beginning. And the Word was with God…the word, it was present in the beginning…this word was present with God. And the Word was God…not only was the word present with God in the beginning, the Word was God. So you have the Word with God but the Word is God and the Word and God are actually one being, and these are two parts of the trinity and are therefore with God in the beginning but actually they are all one God, so God is present with himself in the beginning…”

(It should be noted that some worship leader are actually capable of making sense, unlike the one in my example).

I have several theories as to why worship leaders feel the need to preach. Perhaps they feel like the pastor just isn’t all that good at preaching. Perhaps they like hearing their voices. My biggest belief as to why worship leaders preach is because they all want to be preachers, but God gave them voices to sing and not preach.

Worship leaders should sing, and pastors should preach. Does your pastor pull out a guitar and lead a song in the middle of the sermon? No, because his role in the service is to preach. For the record, I have seen a couple pastors belt out in a song or a chorus during a sermon. I could count the number of times this has happened on three fingers. I see worship leaders preach like every week. 

Pilot NCAA Program Hurts UNC Basketball Team

December 2, 2010

Chapel Hill

The UNC men's basketball team has gotten off to a slow this season and have been struggling to stay in games. Several sources within UNC's program and the NCAA have recently revealed a pilot program that the NCAA has launched within the UNC basketball program. 

In an attempt to prevent amateur athletes from receiving improper benefits or payments for playing in college, the NCAA is testing a program where athletes actually have to pay fans in order to play. The details of the program are not clear yet, but one NCAA official and several officials from within the UNC program have leaked details. All sources speak from anonymity, as none are authorized to speak to the media on the matter. It should also be noted that one source is the NCAA president, but his name will not be mentioned in order to maintain his anonymity. 

Essentially, anytime a UNC player is on campus and sees a person wearing  a UNC shirt, the player must give a dollar to that person. "Our logic is simple," explains a source from the NCAA. "Say a player receives undue pay, or some other benefit. Now, he will be paying fans from his pocket. The cost of paying fans will balance out the money he earned against NCAA rules."

While the program is only at UNC and only within the basketball program right now, the NCAA hopes to expand it to other schools and sports once any kinks are worked out. One amendment to the program already added allows for players to not pay fans on game days as well as on football or basketball game days. Football and basketball games draw the most fans to campus. This was added after UNC's first home football game. Harrison Barnes made the freshman mistake of walking through Tar Heel Town. "I think I gave away $5,000," he said. "I had to go to the ATM just to get more money. I will probably have to sell my car now."

Fellow Freshman Reggie Bullock, who was with Barnes just stopped and closed his eyes, staying until Tar Heel town cleared out of fans. He then walked head down, looking at his feet, to his car and went home. He had wanted to see the football game. 

The toll of this new program is effecting the play of the team, says numerous UNC sources. Most players have gotten one or two jobs in order to make enough money. They are tired and worn out, and it shows on the court. 

Players are also finding ways to avoid seeing fans on campus. Larry Drew II was seen walking through the pit blindfolded, being led by a seeing eye dog. Tyler Zeller bought a pair of horse blinders and fashioned them to the mask former teammate Tyler Hansbrough wore when he broke his nose as a sophomore. 

The NCAA source explains that UNC was targeted for this pilot program because of the allegations against the football program, and the basketball team was specifically chosen because it is easier to run the trial program with 15 men than 90. 

College sports have been plagued with allegations of players violating their amateur status. Cam Newton of Auburn, Georgia wide receiver A.J. Green, and Kentucky basketball player Enes Kanter, as well as at least 16 players from the UNC football team, have been under NCAA investigation this season. Green and several UNC players have been suspended, while several other UNC players have been withheld as the investigation continues. Kanter and two UNC players were ruled permanently ineligible by the NCAA. 

The allegations accuse UNC football players of receiving improper or exuberant benefits. Several reports have been released documenting such benefits. One NCAA report says several UNC football players spent the night at former teammate and friend Hakeem Nicks house while visiting New York City. The improper benefit received here is the estimated cost the players would have paid for lodging in New York City. Spending the night with a friend instead of paying for a hotel room is an NCAA rule infraction. 

Another report tells of a player receiving a free brownie dessert at Chili's after his order was prepared wrong. Yet another player took a penny from the Give-A-Penny-Take-A-Penny at a Sheetz gas station when paying for a Reece's Cup. Both incidents are violations of NCAA rules against receiving improper benefits. 

UNC is protesting the NCAA over this pilot program and hopes that it will be lifted and banned. 

Carolina Panthers Announce Departure From NFL

December 1, 2010
Raleigh, NC

Several years ago, the Carolina Panthers lost the Superbowl in a heartbreaker to the Patriots. This year, they are dropping games to teams like the Cleveland Browns. Next year, the Panthers may be losing to Charlotte's Independence High School.You heard it correctly, and you heard it here first. The Panthers are leaving the NFL and will enter play with North Carolina's 4A high school football division next season.

The Panthers, the worst team in the NFL, will finish the remainder of their current, abysmal season in the NFL. Even former player and interception maestro Jake Delhomme said he is embarrassed by the Panthers lack of performance on the field this season.  Coach John Fox said he had originally hoped to enter the high school ranks this season. "Apparently, the high school season isn't as long as ours and they were actually already in the playoffs," Fox explained.

Fox says the Panthers have decided to not officially withdraw from the NFL until after the April draft. The Panthers will most likely have the first overall pick in that draft.

"I feel really confident in our chances next season. With the players we have now, plus the chance to add a top college player in the draft, we should be a competitive club again next season," Fox said.

Independence High's football coach Tyler Dayton is excited about the Panthers moving leagues and hopes the team joins the same conference Independence plays in. "You better believe the Panthers will be able to compete at our level," Dayton told reporters yesterday. "I would expect them to do very well and make the state playoffs. I expect them to be our toughest opponent next season. A win against them will take our program to a new level and put us back on the national high school football stage."

When asked if the threat of a lockout or an 18 game season played in the teams decision to leave the NFL, Fox said no. "I really feel like we will be more competitive in high school, 4A ball. Losing is bad for morale. We should be able to win some ball games next year, and maybe even make a run into the playoffs," Fox went on to explain.

Rookie quarterback Jimmy Clausen is excited about reentering high school. "I haven't had the chance to win games since high school," he said. "Those Notre Dame teams were terrible. And this season is a wash. I am just ready to win again."

Pro Bowl wide receiver Steve Smith is another Panther's player who is excited about the opportunity, and also hopes to finish his degree. "Man, I going get two, three hundred yards every night. Ain't nobody can stop me. Look out, here I comes."

Linebacker Jon Beason, who is much more articulate then Smith, is also far less enthusiastic. "We are professionals. We are men. We are grown ups, not boys. This season has been difficult. But we need to learn from it, and grow up as a football team. We will be better as an NFL club next season," Beason commented. "Going back to high school? Are you kidding me? That's just embarrassing."

The move to high school will also likely put kicker John Kasey in a match with his son, who is a kicker at a Charlotte area high school.

The NFC south is also looking for a team to replace the panthers. Atlanta Falcons coach Mike Smith would like an SEC school to join the NFC South. "I'd love to see Auburn join our division. Cam Newton has already been paid, why not pay the rest of them, too?"

Quarterback Drew Brees of the New Orleans Saints wants a different team, one from North Carolina, to replace the Panthers. "I would love to have the North Carolina Tar Heels join us. They have played through adversity this season, and are a talented group. And they have several NFL talents on their squad. We just have't seen their NFL talents this year because they have all been suspended for alleged NCAA violations," Brees stated. 

UNC is an interesting choice that would keep professional football in North Carolina. The team also has more NFL talent riding the bench than the Panthers have on the field. Over 16 UNC players have been withheld from games for several alleged violations, including academic cheating and the receiving of excessive benefits. An example of an excessive benefit received by one UNC player includes the estimated cost of spending the night at a friend's house (former teamate Hakeem Nicks) instead of paying for a hotel room while staying in New York City. Another player received a free dessert at Chili's after his food came out wrong, which is also an apparent violation of NCAA rules. 

John Fox also mentioned that Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra has contacted him about the process of entering the high school ranks. Fox says that in a brief phone conversation late Monday night, Spoelstra told him that he, too, would like to see his team win, and would really like to see Cry Baby James finally get a championship. Perhaps high school is the best place for that to happen. Spoelstra has made no comments of this conversation or any plans he has for taking the Heat out of the NBA. Attempts to contact Spoelstra were unsuccessful.

Cheese

Have you ever seen those cheese commercials? Not one advertising Kraft or some other brand. But the ones like the "got milk" ads that simply advertise cheese. Have you ever stopped and pondered the point of these ads? Who is the target audience?

Is there some group of people in America that has yet to discover the many culinary uses of cheese? Are there people like glued to their TV screens learning about this delicious looking yellow block?

Like someone is watching TV and the ad comes on, and they are like "huh, cheese. I think i've seen that in the grocery store. Hey, honey, do they have cheese in the grocery store?"

The dudes wife is like "I'm not sure. I think so."
Then dudes like "yeah its in the baked goods section beside the banana bread."
She's like "no it ain't you jackalope, its in the diary aisle. I know I have seen it, near the deli meat."
Then he's like "I wonder if that would be good on a cracker? Wonder how it would taste if I covered a pizza in it? Or maybe put a slice on my hamburger."

Like really? What are some other useless ads someone could make? How about one for cars? Or soap, for all the people who are unaware of the existence of soap.

Until next time, beware of the falling rocks.

Why Blog?

It's late at night, or early in the morning really, and for whatever reason I cannot sleep. So, for some unknown reason I made a blog. Welcome to 2003, or whenever the blogging hey day was! There are a couple reasons I went ahead and made this blog.

Many famous pastors have blogs: Mark Driscoll, Danny Akin, Matt Chandler, John Piper, Martin Luther (do you really think he would have nailed his 95 thesis to a church door if he lived today?) and Attila the Hun, to name a few. My pastor, JD Greear, also has one. I am sure he will never read my blog, but that is ok, because to be honest, I really don't ever read his.

I also really want to be able to get my say out into the world. By blogging, millions--no billions--of people will have access to what I say. If I am lucky, one or two of those billion people will actually read it. But that's not the point. The point is billions of people could read it. My thoughts have the potential to spark a revolution. Of course, that would mean people would probably have to read it first.

Those who know me know I have a somewhat dry, sarcastic sense of humor. If you need help understanding this humor, I suggest going back and reading the previous 2 paragraphs. I'm really not too serious of a person, and when I am serious, I want to be cracking a joke.

This blog will be a place for me put any funny or serious thoughts I have. More than likely it will be a place I never use.

Until next time, keep the lava flowing!